When I was growing up I had a few favorites.
Whenever we asked where we were going, the answer was usualy: Dallas.
I have come to learn that this was an an answer given to my mother by an uncle when she was little. And it has made its way into our family also. Our kids were always asking where we were (13 hour car trips were measured by the state for our kids - and were very common). Our answer became: We are no where near Dallas. (And we were usually on our way to the DFW area so it was kind of funny.)
Another favorite of my mother's was : Don't touch that! It will give you Yogimitus!
That was the fake, gross medical name for something very nasty. Sometimes gross discriptions of symptoms would accompany the claim. It was never good. And yes, I carried this one over.
I've heard some other people lately using some pretty funny stuff. Some is so very practical or encouraging. All are a learning point if you let them be.
Some of the most used around our house are:
- LIFE ISNT FAIR
-Use your words. (All kids - I hate whining)
- I can't hear whining.
- There is always a winner, and always a loser. You won't be either all the time.
-It would be pretty funny if your face stuck that way. (A Songbird exclusive. Man that kid had a sourpuss face when she didn't get her way for YEARS!)
- But was it fun? (espeically after a loss)
- By participating you are already one step ahead of those that sat in the stands.
- DONT EAT IT!!!! (How I handle girls coming across turds, bugs or anything gross - defuses the panic)
- Never quit. That's the only time you truely lose.
- Do what you love.
- Go ask your father.
- Respect others until they have earned your disrepect. (Backwards from what the world teaches)
- Follow the rules, even when you disagree. (And there is always a process to contest what you think is wrong - do it within those guidelines, with respect.)
-I can't wait until you have children. (Usually accompanied by an evil grin.)
- When you are wrong, own up to it.
-You will always be my baby.
- Justification is nothing more than trying to dodge responsibility.
-Sarcasm does not work on 2 (3,4,5,6)year olds. (both older siblings got this one)
- Your family is with you for life - these friends for only a season. (used mostly in teen years)
- Will this be important in 5 years? (used for perspective)
- Do what you know is right. It will cost you friends, but you will not compromise your beliefs.
- Doing what is right will always make you unpopular.
- Do your best and have no regrets.
-And your point is???
- You will always deal with people that try to hurt you. Learn how to deal with these situations because they never disapear.
- I'm your mother, not your maid.
- And that's why you ride the short bus.
- And this is my problem how?
- Any new holes in your body since last time we saw you? ( a dad exclusive to his only son)
-You must be thinking of your OTHER mother! (because I never said/promised that)
- She/he is a from hubs first marriage. (They never ask which marrage ours is (1st))
- You are my favorite ________(Bones, MM or Songbird) in the whole world.
- I'm going to beat you until your nose bleeds. (lets them know they are off the hook and I'm not mad)
- Bored? Great - go scrub the trashcan. Now. (Not a joke)
-Hah. Wonder how this is gonna turn out....Or... Geee, what's gonna happen next?
- I'm not __________ parent - I'm your parent. The answer is no. Or, I'm not responsible for ____________......I'm responsible for you.
- Seriously????
So what are some of the saying of your house? As you can see, I could use a few more of the positive and sweet sayings to round out the sarcasm.
We use quite a few of your sarcastic ones. I'm assuming this doesn't surprise. I asked the Tongginator what three things she hears most from Momma. She said...
ReplyDeleteDifferent rules for different families.
My ears don't hear whining.
Don't eat the cat food.
That third one is kinda embarrassing, but true.
"If you are going to be dumb, then you have to be tough"
ReplyDeleteThis one gets used quite a bit when a kid is being punished for breaking the rules.
This is great. I like the Dallas one. Whenever we go out to eat (which is not all that often), the girls want to know where we are going. My husband finally made up Broccoli World, and told them all they serve is broccoli. It was funny & we still say it when they ask where we are going.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear that someone else has to say "I don't hear whining."
ReplyDeleteAGH! It drives me C U R A Z E E!
I think that my kids are still, thankfully, a little young for sarcasm. But it is coming soon...
ReplyDeleteI still count to three to get them to obey, so quite honestly, that is what you hear most often around here. 1, 2, I mean it son, right now... 2 1/2 ....
The other that you hear most often is, "Let's google it". My not quite six year old has already learned that if he wants to know something, he just has to say, "Mom, can we google ....?"
I have used most of these myself and found them to be wonderful! Now, my kids might disagree:)
ReplyDeleteLate to visit, but I recently sent my 20-somethings a "Mom quiz" and the first question is "What did your mom always say?" They both answered "Watch out for stupid people"
ReplyDeleteWhile it's more appropriate for kids old enough to know that stupid isn't really a "bad word" it's what I used when they were teenagers. It does no good to tell a teenager to "be careful" because they always think they are. So I always told them to "watch out for stupid people" because "it's not YOU I worry about, I know you'll make the right choices, it's the OTHER guy, the stupid person" and it was just the kind of reminder they'd listen to. :)