Autumn Asks: Are You Living Your Dream?

You think I'm crazy for asking that, don't you?

How could we possibly be living our dream when we are up to our elbows in dishes and laundry? And snotty noses. And bad reports from teachers/care givers? And screaming sibling fights? And not enough money to make a trip to the store before payday because _____ happened. Or cars that break down and wipe out the _______ fund you had been working so hard on?

So what is your dream? Or what was your dream?

My dream was to find the perfect man for me, have a family and stay at home with my kids. Now, I didn't think this would happen until I was into my 30's at least. I didn't have a career path I wanted to follow in the mean time. Totally at a loss there - I just knew I was DONE with school and college was not in the cards...at least not right away. Long story of multiple moves and schools and the challenges therein.

So I shocked the snot out of everyone by getting married at 19. Trust me, no one was more shocked than I was. It wasn't supposed to happen that way.

Three years later we had our first child. Then, after six years of intense badgering I agreed to a second child. Then 10 years later we adopted a third child. Sure didn't predict that one. I thought 4 kids, right on top of each other would be perfect. That is so NOT my personality. I love being mom to my three only children....and I can't imagine surviving four at once. I guess I walk to a different drummer on that front. And it works for me and makes me very happy.

So I already have my dream. I am married to the only man on the face of this earth that could live with me and survive. I have 3 great kids. I get to stay at home and be a mom to my kids -- which was very important to me as I hated being in daycare/babysitting while my mom worked as I was growing up.

I also HAVE to eat rice and beans sometimes. I scrimp and save to pay off all our debt. I can't always participate or help out on projects because of limited funds. There are many things I'd like to do but can't.

And it doesn't matter. I'm still living my dream.

Wow.

When we first moved here and bought our home I was rather unhappy with it. It doesn't have any personality at all. It's a box. But its a 4 bedroom box with a mortgage that we can afford. And it was brand new (never again please Lord!).

Now that we have spent the last 9 months or so living on a written budget and knocking out debt, I've come to love my house also. Why? I think its because we have simplified our living to the point that our priorities have really changed. And that feels good.

I can actually see myself living in this little box for the rest of my life. Who would have thought? And this is rather dangerous thinking as we have no idea what happens 2 years from now. Will dh retire and find a job in this area? Will he make chief and decide to stay in and retire at 30 years of service?

I don't know.

And its still okay.

Because I'm still living my dream.

And for the longest time I didn't even realize it.

How about you?