Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Autumn Asks: How Do You Annoy Liberal s With Your Children?
I read this funny article lately called How To Use Your Children To Annoy Liberals by Selwyn Duke
It was rather funny. It's a little long but worth the laugh....go check it out.
Here are some of my favorite parts: (To my liberal friends - I love you! This is all in fun and I hope you can laugh to....like I laugh at the "Bible clinging, gun toting cracks.)
"How you raise your children matters, too. Make sure they not only play with toy guns but that they do it publicly. And it helps if they audibly say things such as “Bang, bang, you’re dead!” Liberals view this the way a normal person would view the exposure of a child to pornography.
I also should mention that you needn’t fear liberals’ self-righteous, didactic proclamations. Should they choose to say something to you, it only provides you the opportunity to put the icing on the cake. If, for instance, they ask, “Do you really think it’s a good idea to let your son play with toy guns?!” just respond, “Are you crazy? He’s way too young to have a real one.” This upsets liberals intensely.
Lastly, if a liberal asks you why you have so many kids, you can just explain how survival of the fittest ensures that the right members of a species breed and inherit the Earth. And be sure to follow up with, “Besides, every time I have another child, there’s one more person in this world to pray for you.”
You really should go read the whole article - I didn't even scratch the surface. It had me choking on my tea and blowing it out my nose.
And let's follow this up with a conservatives reaction to her child being threatened by a gun this week.
Songbird wanted to walk to the corner store with her bud to buy a soda. Ok. This is a first, but we live in an area that is still rather "country" and not heavily populated. And the corner store is not that far out of our neighborhood. So, for the first time we said yes. They are almost 14 and will entering high school in the fall. It's time.
And during this excurstion they find the store is closed as it is Easter. And in the parking lot sits a couple of high school boys (they think) drinking beer. They yell at the girls, then honk when the girls cross to the other side of the street. Then they jump in their car and follow the girls. Honking. Flashing their lights. The girls keep moving on and try to stay away from the car. So the car stops and the driver pulls a gun and cocks it. (Pointing in the air not at the girls - so he's had some instruction at least). The girls run into a neighborhood right there and find a man reading his paper in his front yard and call the other girls mom while standing close to the man. The car leaves.
When the man asks whats going on --he DOESN'T call the cops. The other mother is coming so he just stays outside with the girls until she shows up.
Is this not a comedy of errors?????????
First, with both girls having cells, why wasn't one or both of them on the phone with 911?
Second, why didn't they get a license number? That is actually a form of terrorism, felony, plus alcohol, plus I'm betting they didn't have a concealed/carry license. Big jail time.
Third - why didn't the man call the police?
Fouth - why didn't the other mother call the police?
Fifth - why didn't my daughter call us?
Sixth - why didn't the other mother deliver her home and bring her in???
So, when my frightened child returned home and we got the story we were stunned. She didn't do anything right. So, big time learning/lesson for the rest of the day.
And yes, I did call the police to let them know it happened and to increase presence in our area for the night. I'm sure the kids were long gone, but its all we could do since the girls couldn't even give a description. Geesh.
And what would I have done about this? Well, first, how about a trip out back to the woodshed with the boys daddies - I'm quite sure the boys wouldnt have walked for a week when their dads were through with them. And how about thousands of dollars in fines and a probation officer they also have to pay for a couple of years.
Did I think that guns need to be outlawed?
But I am stepping up my timeframe on my concealed/carry class and the new smaller gun that I can handle better. I'm pretty weak so cocking the ones we have is a real hazard to myself and anyone else in the immediate area. And I don't see carrying my daddy's .22 in my purse. Heehee.
Do they make gun racks for mini-vans?