Friday, October 29, 2010

Descriptor Not Definer

Who are you?

Who am I?

You know I read mostly women's blogs. I have mostly women friends.

And WHO we are seems to be a question that stumps the majority of them.

Sure alot of us are mothers.

Many of us are wives.

Sister, daughter, grand daughter, friend.

Many women use one of these descriptors to define themselves.

But they aren't definitions....they are descriptors. They are the icing on the cake. They aren't the cake.

For some people the answer is teacher, doctor, office worker, military member.....

Again...this is a descriptor friends. Its not WHO you are. Its ONE of the things you do.

Take away these descriptors and can you answer the question?

Who are you?

My friend Sandra just watched Eat, Love, Pray and started asking this question of her readers: If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would that word be?

Can you do it without using a relationship or a job?

Its not as easy as it sounds for most.

I had the advantage of losing a job many years ago that made me really think about this. See, at that time I defined myself by what I did. How good of a job I did. How valuable I was at what I did.

But the bottom line truth about jobs is this: If you died or quit or whatever tomorrow....they would hire another body and put it in your place. Someone else CAN do it. They might not do it the same, but they can take the position and the company goes right on without you. Do you really want to wrap all your worth up in that kind of a situation?

One day, it could leave you lost.

So who are you friend?

Somebody's mom? Sure. And no matter what you always will be. But the mom you are right now? Its temporary. One day you will be more of a friend than a mom. And then more of a grandma than a mom. Its an ever changing relationship. And its ONE part of who you are. Its not the end-all-be-all. There is more to you than that.

So think about it.

What is your word?

1 comment:

  1. Oh, brilliant minds think alike. I kind of touched on these same topics in a post a couple of days ago.

    Do you want a noun or adjective for this answer?

    Noun: I'd say Nurturer (though whom I nurture and the way in which I nurture may change, I'm always going to be concerned about and caring for something or someone). The other noun that came to mind was Advocate.

    Adjective: Loyal