Well, its come to my attention that there is a new dating service out there for my single friends. If you are tired of those high priced sites with all those brain busting questionnaires....I have the site for you!
ZombieHarmony
If you can't find yourself a choice piece of meat here....well, you might as well give up. This site is loaded with guys that you could just eat up! Men and women are falling all over themselves to sign up and meet Mr. or Mrs. Right.Seriously.
Have you ever seen the zombie sites on the internets???? My dear husband brought these wonderfully educational sites to my attention.
That is what happens when you are married to someone that has a thing for guns. They tend to know about the zombie survivors, minimalists, and other wacko's out there on the internets.
The good thing is, I now know I could probably survive a zombie attack...especially if I was following hubs around. He does share his guns with me....but to tell you the truth....I'm not a good shot. He is rather perplexed at how to help me improve as he can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. Guess I need a professional zombie survival trainer. Should be able to find one at the local shop that sells all the finest survival gear and info cards...such as...
And fear not...the internets is full of information on surviving a zombie attack. You don't even have to leave home. Just head on over to http://www.zombiesurvivalwiki.com/page/Top+7+Zombie+Survival+Tips for the Cliff Notes of Zombie Tips....
Top 7 Zombie Survival Tips
1. Think Rationally
If it’s a zombie infestation, the cops, firemen, and paramedics will all be rather busy, or dead. When the first zombies are seen, the police will take them to hospitals. Do not lock yourself in your apartment and wait for the police to save you. Do not cooperate with the authorities. They know nothing about zombies, as they believe that zombies are a myth. Don't break down and do something stupid. Don't run outside without a plan.
2. Get Armed
You do not want to face zombies unarmed, even if they are not smart or quick or powerful. They will be too dangerous to fight bare handed. Firearms are good, but you should also have some side weapons you can use if you run out of bullets, or if they get too close. Anything’s good: knives, swords, axes or even pole-axes if you know how to use one properly. Blunt weapons are also good, but you must wear protection goggles and a mask, or something to protect your face from the splash.
3. Get Armored
You must try to protect your body as much as you can, especially the neck, arms and legs. These are the most exposed parts to bite. You can find lots of body armor from army surplus shops, or even martial arts and hunting shops. Jeans also offer good protection from bites. Tall boots, leather jackets, and leather gloves are also good articles of clothing to have. (Please note: One reader on the site points out that jeans tear pretty easy....leather is the way to go.)
4. Leave Town
If the zombie infestation caught you in a big town, you must leave immediately. It’s one thing to face 10 zombies, but another thing to face 10,000 zombies. Best thing is to go to the country. Farms are quite easy to defend, and the open spaces won’t let you get caught by surprise.
5. Gather Supplies
Gather as many supplies as you can. Everything from bottled water to gas - you will need it. And it won’t be hard to. If everyone’s dead, it won’t be stealing! Best thing is to get a truck and start looting the largest stores in the area. Don’t go into big towns, and don’t start looting until you are 100% sure there won’t be a zombie attack, let alone a big one. You don’t want the authorities to stop the attack, nor do you want to end up in jail for looting.
6. Barricade
Some barbed wire and a whole bunch of gas filled bottles can do wonders when defending your resort from a zombie attack. Also, alarms are a very good idea. You can make them yourself (some cans and pots on a wire) or get a real one. Motion sensors are also a great idea.
7. Search For Survivors
After you have enough supplies, and your home and the surroundings are safe, you should start searching for survivors. Even if you are the only one of your group still alive, you’ll end up going mad if you remain alone. Start with the small towns around you. It will be quite easy if you have a zombie-proof car. Just go to the town limits and honk. If zombies are there, they will head in your direction and you can just leave; alternatively you will recognize the survivors and can form a group. Safety in numbers!
If it’s a zombie infestation, the cops, firemen, and paramedics will all be rather busy, or dead. When the first zombies are seen, the police will take them to hospitals. Do not lock yourself in your apartment and wait for the police to save you. Do not cooperate with the authorities. They know nothing about zombies, as they believe that zombies are a myth. Don't break down and do something stupid. Don't run outside without a plan.2. Get Armed
You do not want to face zombies unarmed, even if they are not smart or quick or powerful. They will be too dangerous to fight bare handed. Firearms are good, but you should also have some side weapons you can use if you run out of bullets, or if they get too close. Anything’s good: knives, swords, axes or even pole-axes if you know how to use one properly. Blunt weapons are also good, but you must wear protection goggles and a mask, or something to protect your face from the splash.3. Get Armored
You must try to protect your body as much as you can, especially the neck, arms and legs. These are the most exposed parts to bite. You can find lots of body armor from army surplus shops, or even martial arts and hunting shops. Jeans also offer good protection from bites. Tall boots, leather jackets, and leather gloves are also good articles of clothing to have. (Please note: One reader on the site points out that jeans tear pretty easy....leather is the way to go.)4. Leave Town
If the zombie infestation caught you in a big town, you must leave immediately. It’s one thing to face 10 zombies, but another thing to face 10,000 zombies. Best thing is to go to the country. Farms are quite easy to defend, and the open spaces won’t let you get caught by surprise.
5. Gather Supplies
Gather as many supplies as you can. Everything from bottled water to gas - you will need it. And it won’t be hard to. If everyone’s dead, it won’t be stealing! Best thing is to get a truck and start looting the largest stores in the area. Don’t go into big towns, and don’t start looting until you are 100% sure there won’t be a zombie attack, let alone a big one. You don’t want the authorities to stop the attack, nor do you want to end up in jail for looting.6. Barricade
Some barbed wire and a whole bunch of gas filled bottles can do wonders when defending your resort from a zombie attack. Also, alarms are a very good idea. You can make them yourself (some cans and pots on a wire) or get a real one. Motion sensors are also a great idea.
7. Search For Survivors
After you have enough supplies, and your home and the surroundings are safe, you should start searching for survivors. Even if you are the only one of your group still alive, you’ll end up going mad if you remain alone. Start with the small towns around you. It will be quite easy if you have a zombie-proof car. Just go to the town limits and honk. If zombies are there, they will head in your direction and you can just leave; alternatively you will recognize the survivors and can form a group. Safety in numbers!
So there ya go. Let me know if you try out Zombie Harmony. I'd like to know how that goes.
One word: SICK.
ReplyDeleteI'm at a loss! You can find the most interesting things.
ReplyDeleteLove the new header.
I feel so much better prepared now. You know, in case zombies invade. And I feel this sudden and tremendous urge to stockpile some canned tomatoes or something.
ReplyDeleteI could never do what you do- months at a time in the desert! I am always thankful to have a minister for a husband and not one who has to fight for the whole world's freedom!! You are my hero! :)
ReplyDeleteby the way. this was the weirdest blog post I have ever read. congrats, friend, you win!! :)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE IT!!!
ReplyDeleteI accidently watched a zombie movie right after my oldest child was born, and it freaked me out. (too many hormones still in my body) I have had a zombie plan made ever since - seriously. When my third sister married a pilot, I was thrilled, especially since his dad is a doctor. I am trying to get every contingency planned for...
My family loves to tease me about it, but someday when disaster strikes, they are going to be glad that I plan ahead.... Those extra canned veggies are going to count for something someday, I am sure of it!
Autumn! You crack me up!
ReplyDeletefirst thing i would do is try to find a woman to regather life by having a baby.(PS:I need some one to gard my bedroom as I'm making love i dont want get bit as im making love
ReplyDeletebe happy and love. kiss
ReplyDelete