My Tribe

Over at Grown in My Heart someone wrote an article called Tribe. The article goes on to talk to adoptive parents about how they should have a tribe of other adoptive parents in their lives also.

But that is not what this is about.

It is about the tribes in our lives.

The article defines tribes this way:

"According to Merriam-Webster, a tribe can be defined as, “a social group comprising numerous families, clans, or generations together with slaves, dependents, or adopted strangers,” or “a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest.” Seth Godin further explains the importance of tribes, the need to connect, and how it is human nature to join them.

A tribe has tribal wisdom, communal wisdom. Members of the tribe can share that wisdom with one another. A tribe has its own culture, rules of exchange and beliefs. The Internet has made joining a tribe even easier. Physical and geographical barriers no longer exist. You can belong to a tribe that has members scattered all over the globe.

Stop and make a mental list of the tribes you are part of, for example, your family, friends, a book club, or a political party. Why do you feel compelled to be part of this group? What do they do for you? How do they support you?"

I have many different tribes in my life. Moving around so much can make it a little more complicated than someone who has the same tribes most of their life....but with work all tribes are possible.

I hope all of you have tribes also.

Now, to turn the tables a little....

I have one incredibly amazing tribe that makes no sense outside of GOD. It's all him. We are so diverse and different that it could be nothing other than God holding it all together.

Because its not just a tribe of women. Its a SAFE tribe. We can bare our hearts and souls and receive nothing but love and support. NOTHING but love and support. How often do you see that in a group of 11 women??? Non-related women.

How about never?

And there is one thing that makes me sad about our tribe.

Every time we get together, we have to keep things under wraps. We can't sing to the treetops about the great time we have. We can't celebrate out loud.

Why not?

Because there are several CHRISTIAN women who want to make trouble for us.

EVERY time.

I still don't get it to this day even though its been over 2 years that this has been a problem. And I hate seeing my girls worried about how this weekend is going to be talked about behind our backs - about what is going to be said this time. Worried about the damage that will be done at church by women that are not part of the tribe. (Yes, I admit it, it doesn't bother me one little bit. But I don't work on committees or other groups that require me to interface with the ones trying to talk us down. )

Are they jealous? It's the only thing that makes sense. But even when I'm jealous of a close group, I don't tear it down or try to make trouble with others about them. I don't talk the kind of talk that is divisive IN CHURCH or other functions where some of the group might be present.

Well, Autumn, why don't you invite those women to be a part of your tribe?

That's so easy.

1. This group was put together by our Father - there is no question there. We've only added one person since the very very beginning.(And AS - you were a part from the very beginning even though you took a baby break -- never have figured out why you think you came along later?!)

2. These women have already proved themselves to be talky and catty in deed. Our group DOES NOT tear down the others. EVER. It's never even crossed our minds.

3. It would make our group UNSAFE.

4. We have put hours upon hours of our hearts and souls into each other and have grown into what we currently are. We WORKED for it. We've grown like we have based on that foundation and each encounter we have together. We have RELATIONSHIP.

So I do not believe that in order to make unhappy women happy, we should destroy the gift we have.

Does it make me exclusive?

No, I don't think it does. I'd be the first to encourage all women to find such a group. Which means to encourage them to put the blood, sweat and tears into a group of friends. To develop what we have developed over the last 3 years. To do THE WORK.

And that's what I think it really comes down to. Friendships require HARD WORK. It requires carving out time away from your family and your schedules to make that relationship important. And that requires God to step in on your behalf and do big work sometimes -- because 11 schedules in todays world? All 11 families with kids? That doesn't come together naturally. (And I have to throw in right here that we all have the best husbands on the face of the earth. Yes, we do!)

So friends, let me encourage you today to grow your own tribe if you don't have one that meets your "friendship" needs. It is so worth the effort. And it does take effort.

And don't look to "break into" a group that already exists. Make your own.

And take another look at the "exclusive" group if you've been a hater. Maybe its not about keeping others out. Maybe they aren't snobs (people, I have no reason in life to be a snob!!!). Maybe its a group that did the work and are now reaping the rewards. You didn't help build it so don't be in such a hurry to tear it down.

And if you just don't have the time to do that?

Well then.

Step off.

December 1st! Oh So Glad To See You!

A month and a week.

That's how long we had "company". Can you call family company? Not real sure actually.

Today is my first day with my home 100% back to being mine. Even the hubs is out of town so I really do have it back to myself.

Bliss.

And after paying all the bills....I went to the post office and mailed off all the Christmas gifts that had to go by mail.

Dishes are done baby!!!!!!!!!!!

And all my Christmas shopping is done!

Now I only have Christmas cards to finish and the tree to put up. We are behind on both. But since the rest is done I should have it all completed by next Monday.

Love it.

And Pandora Christmas Radio has taken up permanent residence on the Roku/TV and is giving the hubs new speakers a workout. That rocks. Well -- not ROCKS....but you know what I mean.

I'm itching to get back to the 3 quilts I'm working on (seems to be my magic number). I didn't get very much sewing done this last month at all.

I missed all my internet peoples!

So where are you on your Christmas list???? Done yet?????

(Oh, and Bethany -- so sorry I have not let you know your beyond awesome envelope of fabric showed up!! It was in the middle of the craziest point of the last month and I didn't get an email right out like I planned. You are awesome girl!!!!)

I survived November.

The glory of friendship is not

in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile,

nor the joy of companionship;

it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to

one when he discovers that someone else

believes in him and is willing to trust him.

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

A Night at the Frymarks

So I manage to keep the girls all in one piece with no bruises, bumps and injuries...

So their final night here they can participate in a snap war.

At one point I was the only one not participating and even the Hubs got his shots in.

Well- I say I didn't participate -- the Mouse got a napkin and practiced by wiping me about the head until she felt confident enough to join in the craziness.

Hey Mom!!!! Look What I Did!!!!!

The bestest part of having Nano come stay with us during November is that she was able to help FigNewton with her skating outfit. Because even though I am really getting into quilting....I'm really not very good at clothing. At all. Especially on a stretchy material!

Great job FigNewton!!!!

I'm so impressed!!

And super duper thanks to Nano!
Oh - and Nano says 3 inches girl. Three inches.

Presidental Annex

A new discovery for me -- the Presidential Annex to the Air Force Museum. Hubs found out about it recently and had us meet him over there yesterday before lunch. It was really neat to be able to crawl around in planes that have flown several presidents around.



There were also many other kinds of aircraft to see. I love this little "Air Jeep". It looks like something from a cartoon. It could be stripped and collapsed down - weighing only 300 lbs. But alas...it made too much noise to be practical for its mission.
There were several other rocket looking jets and experimental planes. Fun stuff. Its easy to see why people thought they saw UFO's when these things were being tested.
If anyone is ever in the Dayton area they really should stop in and see the Air Force Museum. It really is amazing.

And free!!

Even Gorgeous Movie Stars Have a Bad Day

Apparently, even gorgeous movie stars have bad days and get fired.

But I'd really, really, REALLY like to know WHAT exactly it was Barbie got fired for....

See, I had just returned from a week in Texas (yes I did run away from home and leave my mom to take care of my two PLUS two more), and I happened to look down and see this note about Barbie.

And I was intrigued. And horrified.

And nervous.

So I showed the hubs the memo about Barbie.

And we laughed.

A lot.

And so we asked Mighty Mouse about that bad day.

And didn't really find out anything more than how she loves to copy pages from a book. (Which we knew).

So this morning I went and found said book.

And was never so glad to see Paris in my life.

Winning Streak!

Besides my ultra cool Go! cutter.....I have won two other give-aways the last couple of weeks. See, you go your whole life winning nothing, and then....
From Sandra at Diary of a Stay at Home Mom I won a handful of Chiquita Smoothie coupons and a t-shirt. I have not yet been to the store to pick some up but I'll be sure to let you know if the girls like them or not. Yes. I said the girls. I'm willing to lay money on the fact that they will get to them before I will. My girls LOVE them some smoothies.

And from Quilting Ranny I won a big envelope full of thread and even some fabric scraps. Most were put away before it occurred to me to snap a shot to let both ladies know I have indeed received the packages. The thread you see here is overflow I don't even have space for! LOL.

Thank both of you ladies very much for the give-aways!

So How Many Days Have I Lost?

Of course as soon as the girls got hereI got sick. And it was one of those that you would wake up and think you were feeling better.....for about an hour. For days and days.

Then we had to put the van in the shop. Thankfully that turned out really well as we thought it was oil we were leaking and the vehicle is not even paid off yet. And I have to make a trip to Nebraska this month in it. But all turned out well. It wasn't even as expensive as I was thinking it was going to be. Not that it was cheap...but it wasn't devastating. But we were down to one car so on the days I was feeling well enough that we could have done something.....we couldn't.

And then we had to hang around while the fence guy put in the fence. Lost 2 days there.

And then we had to put the Durango in the shop and we are back down to one car again which is keeping us pretty much house bound. And since they first ordered the wrong part....and then found out they dont make the part anymore...etc. Well, we won't have that car back for awhile.

But Hubs leaves TDY Monday so at least we wont need two cars for a bit.

(Hubs job has him needing a vehicle many times so its not like its easy for me to just take him to work and pick him up.)

Mom arrives Tuesday to stay with us for almost a month. She will watch all four girls for me while I leave town for 5 days. Then she will watch my two while I take the girls home after I get back.

When I return from Nebraska mom will return home and it will be December the next day.

Yes, this November will be a lost month. So, all of my Christmas gifts that must be mailed are bought, wrapped and boxed and will be sent rather early this year. Hubs gets to hand deliver Bones' presents on this next TDY which will save us a bundle on shipping. His presents tend to be heavy as I stuff them full of snacks and other food stuffs also.

The only thing I haven't done is our yearly Christmas letter - which I usually do on Thanksgiving or the day after while all that football mess is hogging up the tv. So I'm not sure that Christmas Cards will make it out this year as I'm not even sure where I will be on Thanksgiving.

And I refuse to complicate the month of December.

The girls have been able to go with our Troop to a really cool paper making class with a great lady. She has had a home business for 26 years doing fun papers and stuff. I was surprised that all the age groups (10-15) loved it and had a great time. I've even had requests to go again.

We also helped the Troops sponsor church (where we have our meetings) by helping to serve at a spaghetti feed they put on. The girls ate their weight in desserts for their trouble! LOL!

Hopefully we will get the girls out a little more for some fun this coming week.

But at least they are getting their schoolwork done!

Corn Maze

Hubs and the girls went to the cornmaze yesterday. I stayed home to sleep as I am coming down with a cold, and I know if I will just go to bed many times I can lick it before it gets a good hold. (And it worked.)

But I was bummed not to go play with them all! So hubs took pity and snapped a couple of shots from his phone for me.

He's such a good daddy!

Snapshot Saturday: Faces of Halloween Edition

Descriptor Not Definer

Who are you?

Who am I?

You know I read mostly women's blogs. I have mostly women friends.

And WHO we are seems to be a question that stumps the majority of them.

Sure alot of us are mothers.

Many of us are wives.

Sister, daughter, grand daughter, friend.

Many women use one of these descriptors to define themselves.

But they aren't definitions....they are descriptors. They are the icing on the cake. They aren't the cake.

For some people the answer is teacher, doctor, office worker, military member.....

Again...this is a descriptor friends. Its not WHO you are. Its ONE of the things you do.

Take away these descriptors and can you answer the question?

Who are you?

My friend Sandra just watched Eat, Love, Pray and started asking this question of her readers: If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would that word be?

Can you do it without using a relationship or a job?

Its not as easy as it sounds for most.

I had the advantage of losing a job many years ago that made me really think about this. See, at that time I defined myself by what I did. How good of a job I did. How valuable I was at what I did.

But the bottom line truth about jobs is this: If you died or quit or whatever tomorrow....they would hire another body and put it in your place. Someone else CAN do it. They might not do it the same, but they can take the position and the company goes right on without you. Do you really want to wrap all your worth up in that kind of a situation?

One day, it could leave you lost.

So who are you friend?

Somebody's mom? Sure. And no matter what you always will be. But the mom you are right now? Its temporary. One day you will be more of a friend than a mom. And then more of a grandma than a mom. Its an ever changing relationship. And its ONE part of who you are. Its not the end-all-be-all. There is more to you than that.

So think about it.

What is your word?

MM Goes Fishing

At our family camp out this last summer Mighty Mouse went fishing for the first time. I didn't even go with her as I assumed she would get bored and hate it.

Nope.

Instead she caught 3 fish. (And we had no camera with us.)

And she was the only kid that caught fish.

But I understand there might have been a little intervention in there somewhere.

And I'm thankful for the other mama that did bring a camera and gave MM this picture last week!

Poppy would have been proud kid!

Angels of Summer

Whew. Last Christmas quilt is done.

Not that I don't have other projects stacking up -- but at least my Christmas ones are done!

This one is named Angels of Summer due to its colors and its pieced angels on the back. I kicked a name around forever and ended up with this one. Still doesn't wow me .... but it will do.
I used Amy Butlers Lotus Brick Path free pattern with my own choice of fabrics instead of the Lotus line.

The back is once again pieced from left overs from the front.


Angels on the back. I've become kind of obsessed with doing a paper pieced block or two on the backs with some significance to the quilt recipient. Its becoming almost a signature kind of thing for me.
And this time I rolled up my sleeves and actually QUILTED. Free motion baby!!! And it wasn't so bad....although you can see the progress from where I started to where I ended. Practice does make perfect.

I decided to quilt every other strip on the quilt for a different texture. On the side where the back is green I used blue thread...and vise versa. Love the way it turned out.




And now an announcement:

Starting tomorrow I will have two wonderful teens coming to stay with me for about a month. During that time I fully expect this blog will be all about them and their days to keep mom up on what they are doing while they are here. I will return to my normal Autumn randomness in December. So, that means you probably won't have a whole lot of interest in what's going on here during that time and I apologize.....but its important. So! See you in December!