Friday, October 10, 2008

Autumn asks: Are you an overwhelmed Mom?

This subject keeps popping up in my life this month. Lots of women are blogging about being overwhelmed. Then there is the mom that went in to work and left her 2 year old in the backseat - which ended tragically. She was overwhelmed in a big way. And a mistake of being out of routine and sleep deprived cost her in a way that can never be fixed. (Not making excuses for the women, but come on, how many of you have forgotten to buckle the kid in the carseat after being distracted? I'm raising my hand here.)

I am very thankful to say that the majority of the time I am not overwhelmed. I can only say this because we made the choice for me to stay home with the kids. If I had to work and do all this I would be a complete basket case. I know this about myself. I've lived this. It is not a good place to be. Not that being so tight financially is pleasant - its not! But I can work with that since we did not have debt going into this. I wish every mother at least had the chance to make this choice, but sadly, not all do. And for my lady friends that work or they would be overwhelmed at home...YOU GO GIRL!

I'd like to say I have some great advice for those that are know, a solution.

Can't help you.

I know for my own life I have to make sure I am not overcommited outside the home. So far I have not had that problem....because I've seen so many that have done this. Some of my most favorite people in life do this. And its all good stuff - serving the church, your kids school, etc. I have also noticed those people tend not to be as happy as the women that are not overcommited. That's not to say they aren't happy -- but they are TIRED. Its hard to hit the extreme highs and zero in on the little, little joys when you just want to go to bed.

Right now, I have a friend that is about to take on a 2 1/2 year old and his 4 month old twin sisters while both parents are in Iraq for a year (no other family that can take the kids). Although they feel led by God to do this, she is also feeling like she just might be crazy. Why? Well, they have already raised one set of kids...and have several grandchildren. And they have already raised a second set of kids...the youngest of who is almost an adult and moving out of the house. They are not young. And there are several Christian friends that have challenged her over this. Not an easy place to be. Not sure why everyone else thinks they know what is too much for my friend......dare I say Pharisee's?
The absolutely fantastic group of ladies I've come to know wanted to throw a shower for our friend. We are thrilled for her - the story goes much deeper than I'm sharing, but its not my story to share. Since they foster children they really have everything they need. Plus, they will have the kids stuff and the mom and dad will be sending money to support the kids.

So our extremely smart leader came up with the idea of each of us picking out our favorite scripture and framing it so she could put them all over the house to see and read when she is feeling tired and overwhelmed. Talk about a great gift! And I had a great time trying to decide what to use. Moms, the Bible is full of verses you can use this way!

So, if you know a friend that feels overwhelmed sometimes, consider this quick gift idea. I know I'd love to receive this kind of gift!And now I'm off to pretend I'm not overwhelmed today. Because, you see, I have not cleaned up MM's mess from 3 days ago. And the rat dog peed on my bed this morning. That means dragging the steam cleaner out to clean the bed...which means I might as well do the carpets since I already have it out and have cleaner in it.

But really, I know I'm not overwhelmed.

Because I didn't kill the dog.

And because I have not considered a match as the way to tackle MM's room.


  1. Good post! I absolutely agree with you that the key to keeping it together is to not over-schedule. I have almost no outside commitments, and I'm fine with that.

    Oh, and you read my mind again. My post for tomorrow is called "Heather the Hermit." Tee hee.

  2. I loved reading this! Made me chuckle! Today I'm not overwhelmed, but it happens quite often around here. Many times I'm overwhelmed about things that are nothing, but seem like something. I love the way the posters you have on here describe being overwhelmed. Perfect.

  3. Great post Autumn! That is a great idea with the picture scriptues as well. My hats off to your friend who will be taken those children. No one knows the sacrifice of military men and women like another military person... what a great person your friend is to help out this mom and dad.
    As far as overwhelmed - well I feel this way and I only have 2 kids and stay at home... that comes from the military side of things and the little guy that jumps up and down if I am not looking at him!

  4. Heidi - you will be overwhelmed for a few more months now at least!! Many people have no idea what kind of adjustment time there is for everyone involved in a foreign adoption. Physical along with emotional!!

    Love keeping up with your family! Aiden seems to be doing so great after his surgery!

  5. Thanks for sharing your words. They really are up lifting for someone who is over-over whelmed and know that they are not the only one.