Monday, June 11, 2012

Real Problems

Let's face it...

I don't have any.

Six months with no job?

Retirement check just covers the bills. Cashed in a fund to cover food and gas for a time. (Do you know people that have already lost all after not working for 6 months?? Everybody does.)

Children sick or at deaths door?

Not a one. And no longer having dental insurance is unfortunate but not tragic. At least the braces are off and paid for.


Cashed in another fund to buy a travel trailer to live in when we get to that point. (Ok - so convincing the hubs we are at that point has been unsuccessful...but its there waiting for when he does get it.)

Unable to buy food or gas?

We haven't hit that rock bottom quite yet. (Do you know how many people have?)

Worried about the dwindling bank account?

The government makes a big mistake and dumps lots of money in our account. Yes, it is to be paid back but that number keeps me from going into honest to God panic attacks every time I pay the bills or look at the account.  Ever had a panic attack?


I know people that:

have been looking for a job for a year
have a very very sick child
are very sick themselves and can't work
have lost their homes and everything else and are living in a shelter
dont even have a bank account anymore
have had to pay out lots of money for sick pets and even lost pets afterwards
have serious problems in their marriage
have walked away from their marriage
are in very serious debt

So why am I so pissed off and hating everyone and everything and throwing a mental tantrum of all tantrums?

Because I feel forgotten and unloved.  Unworthy.  Not worth the time.  Silenced. Ignored. Passed over.

Where is my patience? Where is my faith? Where is my thanksgiving and thanks offerings? Where is the praise on my lips? Where is my trust? Where is my assurance?

Used up.


Pushed past where I can hang on.

Talk about a spoiled little white girl.

I want my pony back.


  1. I hear you, sister. I want my pony back, too.

  2. The truth is, even a little bit of bleach is caustic if you drink it.... I don't see your current struggles as insignificant. Hang in there. I'm sure this will be over soon. I'm praying for you, dear friend.

  3. Oh, I love you. I have not even gotten to hug you yet, but please, feel yourself hugged by me. That's all I've got right now...