Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Dear Mommies at the Colubus Zoo....

Overwhelmingly, ya'll sucked.

And not just a little.

Did you lose your minds by picking the busiest day of the year to go to the zoo? Is that why you were so rabid?

Did all of you pinch your kids at the same time? Do they always cry like that in public? Or...have you just not figured out how to schedule fun during times it remains fun, instead of at nap time?

Dear mommy with kid slapping you over and over in the face. Seriously????? Is that fun for you? Are you intimidated to disciple in public? Do you ever discipline? What is up with that sister???? (And if you have a RAD child....God bless and keep you.)

Dear mommy with child that screamed, yelled, ran and beat on things while spewing filth. Most kids don't have that kind of vocabulary pre-kindergarten. Wow. I think I can safely say sugar is not her friend. Try some fresh veggies on that kid. Clean up her diet a little and see if it doesn't help. Seriously. I'm trying to help. After all, it was refusing to buy her more sugar that caused the fit. This is a big clue.

Dear mommy with the 1st/2nd grader in a stroller. Get her out. You do realize this is part of why she is so overweight right? She needs to use her legs. And cut out the pop. Try some good old fashioned water on the kid. She'll hate it at first but not as much as she's going to hate spending her life overweight.

To the wonderful stroller pushers......you guys were the best of the lot. Probably because you can see who you are going to hit and mostly had good enough manners not to. For those that ran over people on purpose....I can only hope one day you will buy a clue. Guess what? Having a child in a stroller does not give you permission to go to the head of the line, or ram others out of your way because they aren't moving fast enough for you. In that kind of crowd, everyone is frustrated, not just you. And no, others do NOT have to think of you before themselves just because you have a stroller/child. Luckily there are still plenty of people that will - but that is manners, not requirement.

Dear wagon pullers. This one will be hard to keep clean. I've never seen so many completely oblivious women in my life. You can't see what is behind you. A quick look over your shoulder could save others and your kids lots of contact no one was interested in having. Or pull over to the side. Everyone expects you will stop when traffic is backed up or at exhibits....but in the middle of the walkway, with nothing in sight, for no apparent reason? I would love to have a head count of how many people went home with busted shins from this type of behavior. And how many children had strangers fall onto them in their wagon. And mom...when the kid got hurt by a stranger falling on them when you stopped with no warning...it is YOUR fault. You had all the power in this case. You chose to stop with no warning or apparent reason in the middle of the walkway in a huge, huge crowd. I just don't get it. That many of you could not have been first time pullers.

Obviously we went to the zoo last Friday. It was crowed and at first was one of the most awful experiences I have had to date. I actually was feeling like I was on the verge of a panic attack. After about 40 minutes we went back out to the car and had a tailgate lunch.

Poor Songbird has such a sore mouth we had no choice but to bring a picnic lunch...even though I know we would have anyways. But she requested some egg salad and we had hummus and applesauce for a sweet. Lots of water as it was rather warm. (If its under 98 its not truly hot in my book.)

Anyways, it was after one when we went back in so most of the mommies with littles were leaving as we were going back in! And we laughed the whole way at the amazing array of misbehaving, crying, screaming kids on the way out to their cars. Not because we were being mean but because we have been through it 3 times. Yes. It was time for a nap. Actually, the smart ones would not have stayed past 12:30 if they wanted to make it out before the meltdowns! LOL! I think I can finally say I'm glad we aren't doing this age again!

The rest of the visit was much better as far as the crowds were concerned. That first time in made me crazy. Never ever seen that many people at a zoo.

But it was just one of those days that at every turn there was really bad or rude behavior.

I don't get that.

We listened at one man screaming with profanity about how much he paid to get in and see nothing but rocks. It was the worst zoo he had ever been to. Which made Dion and I laugh (lucky we didn't get belted) because it was the middle of the day. The animals are all inside taking a nap! You go the first two and last two hours if you really have a burning desire to see all the creatures. NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. Not worthy of profanity in a circle of kids either.

And there is one long concrete tunnel you pass under. Well the echo is to die for. So letting your kids hoop and hollar a little is fun. But full fledged screaming and piercing shriek? Um...parent much? Did you not care about the people that were covering their ears and running out of the tunnel...some with actual tears in their eyes????? (That is not an exaggeration! And it was a zoo staff member even that had tears!!) I actually wondered if you were deaf until I saw you were carrying on a conversation with the person with you. That was quite a feat. I was looking at the child when he emerged from the shadows and he noticed so he screamed louder. And I felt very sad for him...because I got the feeling that mom doesn't pay this guy much attention (he was about 10 with a sibling in a stroller). Negative attention is better than no attention, right?

So we weren't very impressed with the famous Columbus Zoo. But we also did not go to the water park or the amusement park they have. You paid alot just to go to the zoo (well, we didn't as it was free for military that day) and then everything else was extra. Way too much money.

But I must say they had the BEST Manatee exhibit I've ever seen. I could sit in there for hours.

Plus, they allow you to bring food and drink and eat in the park. I'm always amazed at zoos that don't allow that.

And maybe if I went on a day it wasn't so crowded I would like it even more.

But for now, I'm still sticking with the Omaha Zoo being the best ever.

***And for those that don't know me well, all the mommy bashing is said in frustration with a rotten day.....I do not hate mommies or kids. I love them. I would have a half dozen more kids if I could.

Well, not after the zoo, but before it.


  1. Sounds like an adventure. Sorry! We keep saying we should take advantage of some of those "free for military" things this summer, but we never go anywhere except to the grandparents!
    I know I went to the Omaha zoo once, but it was when Canaan was still in a baby carrier, so it is kind of a blur.
    We enjoyed the Atlanta Zoo last year, but Tricia tells me it can't compare.

  2. You can see all sorts at the zoos and amusement parks! It's like a whos who of how not to parent!

  3. I swear some people make going out very frustrating. I had to nod in agreement with all your stuff, been there, done that and have the same reaction as you.