Friday, May 28, 2010

You Know You've Adopted Internationally When...

Yesterday Tonggu Momma did a post that is a spin-off of a post on the Adoption-China boards many moons ago. Her list is pretty familiar for those of us that have adopted. Then...she passed it on by saying "your turn". Is that like a dare?

So here is my contribution....

You know you've adopted internationally when you have been called names like "baby stealer", "White-privileged (= racist)", "baby buyer", or have been accused of adopting because its popular and the baby is more like a accessory instead of a real child.

You avoid eye contact with other people when in public with your child because you just don't want the ignorant or PERSONAL questions.

You've thrown-up in your mouth a little over comments made about what a great person you are for saving that poor baby.

You've started challenging others over racist type comments even though you were too shy to even speak in public pre-adoption.

You know the wounded animal sound of your child ...which is like no sound the children you gave birth to EVER made.

You understand the primal wound crying and know there is NOTHING you can do but hold on to that shaking body ... and that your child does not even understand WHY.

You've held a child while they cried for hours over the last day of school and nothing you can say can convince them that this is just one more loved person in their life that has magically disappeared.

You know that there are many situations where we can't talk or reason...all you can do is listen and try to empower.

A school year with no calls for you to come to the school is worthy of a PARTY!!!


You know you've adopted internationally when you've fought with a pediatrician over WHICH growth chart says they are failing to thrive(!) and demand they use the chart from their child's country instead of from the US.


  1. Excellent! Definitely the hard stuff, but oh-so-true!

  2. I know nothing of this, but I appreciate the education you are giving me. And I'm SO glad you haven't had any phone calls from school this year - what a blessing! I pray that things will just continue to get better & better.