Friday, September 25, 2009

Seriously Red in the Face

This post will only be funny and understood by those that know me rather well. For those that don't, I'll try to clue you in a little but I'm not sure how well it will go.

First, you must understand wine drinking in my family. As in my mother, and my uncles wife, etc. My mom likes wine. Alot. And in my uncles wife, she has a really good partner in crime. The other thing about my uncle and his wife is that they collect these wooden signs. Most of them say X amount of miles to some city (that they have been to or lived in, etc.) .

Back to the wine. My mom drinks wine like I would drink a coke. She also drinks beer...Texas Tea. That's what she drank when I was growing up, but later in life it switched to more wine than beer. Now, most of the time we aren't talking about over indulging....but sometimes the ladies do like their Vino. And this is why wine drinking is sort of a family joke.

Last year when those wine chillers were real popular at Christmas, I asked my husband if he thought that would be a good gift for mom. We have a hard time figuring out what to get each year. Anyways, his response was, "Do they make one for the box?" Okay. That was hysterical to us. After all, a fine box of wine always appears when grandma comes to visit. It was funny. And my sister did call me and inform me the day she ran across one for the box just recently. Toooooo funny.

Moving on.

Today I decided to shop. Both kids were in school and I wanted to explore the area a little. So I picked up the cash envelopes in case I ran across some Christmas gifts or something. Off I went on a little adventure all by myself. In the quiet car with no kids. Heaven.

At one point I ran across a Marshall's. They are usually good for gifts so I decided to browse. And I found a few packs of notecards for .70. Cool. I'm low. I found a little thing for Bones for Christmas. And then I found a funny. I ran across a wooden sign/arrow with the words "Wine Trail" on it. Hah! A funny gift. It was perfect for my uncles wife. And it would be a nice addition to their collection....along with being rather true.

Still with me?

So, I go and get into the cashiers line. Right behind the sweetest Amish looking girl. I have no idea if she was really Amish, but that gives you a picture. Hair in a bun and covered with a little bonnet thing. Handmade floor length skirt and matching short shoulder cape. Sensible shoes.

No way.

Now, some of you know my past religious history and the crazy, painful journey it has been. Those of you will get my extreme discomfort of standing behind this young lady with a wine sign in my hand. I was a squirming. So I used my other purchases to sit on top of word "wine" and tried to be invisible. All the fundimental years were screaming at me loud.

But the line was very long. And then they were out of change at one register so we were down to just the one checker while they scrambled for change. And it was like a Christmas line. So, she'd say something to me. And we'd shuffle forward, and I'd make a comment. And we were almost to the end of the line.

And then she asked...."So what kind of sign did you find?"


My face went up in flames. No! No! No!!!!! I'd almost made it!!!!!

"Er...ummm....well, its a bad sign." (My face is massively on fire! I don't think I've been this red in years.)

"OH!!!!" (Hah. Now who's embarassed????)

So I showed her my sign. And pointed out that it said Wine Trail.

"Did you say WINE?"


"Oh. " So totally not embarrassed or impressed anymore. So I guess wine is okay.

But I wonder what she thought it was going to say?



  1. Funny. Too funny. I needed that today.

  2. That is FUNNY!!! And I am so proud of Songbird for you! And I hope things are going better for MM. Last Wed., I saw the back of a red-headed woman's head, and for a second, my brain told me it was you sitting there. :( Miss you!

  3. That is funny. :) I grew up near Amish and Mennonite culture.