The other day Sandra over at Diary of a Stay at Home Mom blogged about saying yes. It is a great article and I encourage you to go check it out...especially if you are the mom of littles.
This is the way I think we would all like to raise our kids....with a yes on our lips. More times than not it turns out to be a blessing to your day and your childs.
I found myself smiling and agreeing with her post...which made me think about when I learned this lesson. With a little twist.
My first born was a challenge. A good challenge....a very BUSY challenge. And he was so busy that there were a lot of "no's", settle down's, etc. And he would bounce from one thing to the next in the blink of an eye. (And this was NOT and ADHD kind of thing...it was just such a zest for life and doing things and LIVING 100% of his day.)
It could be exhausting.
One day the doctor I worked for pulled me aside and told me she had seen my son at the local McD's with another family. I had to work and he had spent the day at a friends house. And the doctor told me that almost every word out of the adults mouth to the boys had been "no", "stop", "don't do that", etc. All negative.
At that point I got a lecture on positive parenting.
Although I didn't think I needed that lecture, and was rather shocked at her "relaxed" parenting when around her kids.....I did learn one of the greatest lessons from her.
Say YES as often as possible.
My response at first was saying yes to a child's request to "go do" whatever when I can't even get into the door of his room for the mess is really not going to work.
She assured me it was.
Because in those cases, its not just yes. It's Yes....when.
So my friends, even those of us that have to struggle with a child that needs alot of boundaries....there is still yes...when.
Yes, we can go to the park, when you finish cleaning your room.
Yes, you may have a cookie, when we are finished with dinner.
Yes, I will take you out for a lobster dinner, when you bring me a report card with all A's. (Yes that is an actual conversation with son. I paid for several lobster dinners in elementary school. Kid knows how to eat.)
So for the mom's who wonder just HOW to be a yes mom with their challenging child...
that's how you do it.
And you get to be the good guy. You are saying yes to the requests.
And with these children....make DOUBLE sure you follow through when they uphold their end of the "when". Otherwise you are just a mom that lies about the yes.
And that is worse than a no.
So give it a try today with your kids. Say "yes...when" to that request that would have been a "no...because".