Hurry Up...and Wait!

Why do we try so hard to teach our kids to be on time?

It seems like its always some kind of rush to get where ever you are going.

Like the doctors. You hurry up to get out the door and be there the 10-15 minutes early...like they tell you to. And then you sit around and wait. And wait. And wait.

And the natives start to get restless.

"Why did we have to get here so early if they are just going to make us wait?"
"Is it time yet?"
"Do they know we are here?"

How do you explain to a pre-schooler that everything is as it should be?

Do you know what Mighty Mouses most asked question is right now? (Her father does not appreciate this very much either!!)

HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

"Mommy, can I have lunch?"
"Sure, just a minute...."
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

Joining a line at the grocery store. Two people in front of us.
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

Waiting for the dentist to call us back.
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

"Can I have a snack?"
"Yes."
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

In the drive-through lane at the bank.
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

Picking up a prescription.
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

Standing in line at a fast food joint.
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

With the exception of doctors offices, most of these things don't take that long. So, what's the big rush????

And how do you explain to a child that they are going to spend about as much time waiting in this life as they do sleeping???? (At least that is what it feels like.) It worked with the older two...but Mighty Mouse is a whole different story. Even at four she questions why we hurry...just to wait? Why do we have to be on time...but the doctor doesn't?

At this point I spout at her that the average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines. It's what we do. Hurry up and wait.

Then we have this long back and forth thing go on....kind of like that movie with Tom Cruise. What was it called? Jerry McGuire? Tom is in the car with the kid and a back-and-forth verbal battle begins...

For us it looks something like this:

Me: Did you know that the average 4 year old asks 400 questions a day?
MM: Yep - but did you know that 3.6 cans of Spam are consumed each second?

Me: Really? Did you know that 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year?
MM: And most toilets flush in E flat.

Me: Did you know that it takes a half a gallon of water for me to make your macaroni...and a gallon of water to clean the pot?
MM: Right. But did you know that a shrimps heart is in its head?

Me: Most lipstick contains fish scales.
MM: Only 6 people in the world have died from moshing.

Me: When did you start moshing????

Okay. So that's not really a verbatim conversation. But you get the idea. It's just nuts. And other people are stopping what they are doing to stare while we verbally spar. And I probably shouldn't enjoy it near as much as I do...but verbal sparring IS an art form. I just hope her teachers understand that concept when she begins school in the fall. I'm dreaming about those phone calls already.

I'm telling you, this one will end up getting the better of me a lot younger than the other two.

The only time I come out on top lately is when it ends like this:

But see. Even in her sleep she's still sporting the attitude.

The kid is just cool.