Girls Are Worth It

One of the hardest parts of our moves is always leaving "My Girls" behind.

I did not grow up a Girl Scout. My father was military and we moved so much that there were very few things my parents wanted to spend the time and money on. The future was always uncertain. Moves were unexpected and quick. Not a good combination for the "finish what you start" mentality.

When Songbird started school I wanted her in Scouts.  It wasn't the crafts and fun. It wasn't the camping...although that is fun. It was the social aspect.  Not social as in socializing. Social as in service to your community.

When you move around as much as we have, connecting to your community is rather hard. So we have to find an interest and dive into the community in that area to feel like we belong and to connect to our area. For many that can be church. For others its volunteering with the schools. The possibilities are endless.

As I had kids and settled into life, I wanted something more on the giving end. I wanted the same for my kids. So Scouting became an important part of our lives no matter where we moved.

What I didn't go looking for was to be involved in Scouts myself. But, as happens many times, I was pulled in during a crisis when another leader was needed.

And I never left -- except for our stay in Waco -- but Songbird was still in a troop even though I wasn't.

Part of the reason I wasn't involved in Waco was because it was so heart breaking to leave my girls in Omaha behind. They were amazing! I enjoyed every minute with those girls! And I wasn't big on strangers kids. They changed all that for me.

When we came to Ohio Songbird was about done with Scouts and going in other directions. Now I had Mouse asking me to join. She was pretty much the troop mascot since she was adopted so she was now old enough to be a scout herself and she was ready.

Of course there was a shortage of leaders as this was a super troop with almost all age groups.  That's alot of leaders to need on hand.  I knew I needed to be away from Mouse to get her to interact but I had almost all the training already so I went ahead and agreed to work with the older girls.

It's been a blast.  And yes, I have found I like the older (middle school aged) girls the best! Not quite into boys yet, old enough to behave, but young enough to be a hot mess! Love it.

I have been with these girls for 4 years now and I LOVE them.

Tonight Mouse and I had to go say our good-byes.  Mouse said goodbye to her age group last week. I still had to bring her to the older girls meeting also for goodbyes as she is well loved. It pays to be cute.

Once again I am leaving a group of girls that I would really love to stick around and see grow up. They are amazing. And the service projects they come up with for their community? Great stuff! They love to help others. They have all the idea's needed...as adults we just have to provide the ride or the direction on how to get where they want to go.

I never saw myself as loving this. It was a temporary thing. Today, I can honestly say its one of the most satisfying and fun things I do.

Girls need adults other than family to be in their corner. They need adults to cheer them on and encourage them to be all they can be.  They need adults they can cut up with on a camping trip without worrying about being kept in line when they are too loud or too boisterous.

They need you.

If you are looking for a way to give back to your community, please consider Scouts. Its not as hard as you would think. The older they are the more THEY run the show and you just facilitate.  And our youth want to help their communities! You could be the one to make it happen for them.

Our girls are worth your time.  And guess what? If you try it and don't like it? You don't do it again. No harm, no foul. But maybe, just maybe, you will find out that this is worth two Fridays a month.

What I know for sure is...

Girls are worth it.



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Marching Forward

It's been crazy here. Good crazy, but crazy.

I/we managed to pull it all together and get things ready before the movers came. There have been some forgottens and panic moments when something was already packed or missing....but it wasn't my stuff - and we will leave it at that. Lol.

The dogs troll around nervously. The house is almost empty and they don't like it.

Actually the movers were supposed to be done Friday but they weren't and now have to come back to finish on Monday. I warned the lady that came to do the walk through and the crew the day they showed up. They all thought they knew better than me .... And they couldn't complete the job.

But I'm not complaining as it leaves me with the washer/dryer, the couches and a tv to watch over the weekend. Everything else we need is in the trailer which we pulled up in front of the house last night.

It feels really unreal this time. I think it must be because we don't have an actual destination or end time for what happens next.

We know the area we can live in ....and it is very large. We know there will be training and possible back to back rotations to complete before we will be able to even begin to look at houses. It could easily be six months. It's a big unknown.

So next week we start a whole new life adventure as travel trailer full timers. It should be interesting with an active 8 year old, snarky 17 year old, 70 pound Doberman, 9 pound chihuahua and the two of us. I'm sure it will not be boring.

I can't say I'm real excited as this is not the road we ever saw ourselves going down.

Who knew we'd have a president that would force so many out if the military and close down the contracting jobs at the same time?

Who knew we would have to use the money we worked so hard to save for retirement to keep ourselves afloat for so long?

Who knew the economy would be at its worst ever when we did get out?

We sure didn't.

Now it's time to do our best to get back to where we were at least. I really don't feel confident that we will with the way things are going. I think our nation is following Argentina's downward spiral almost exactly. I honestly doubt that it will get better.

But I'd love to be wrong.

So we march forward in hopes that we can recover from the damages done. Not everyone can recover from their losses.

We march forward to teach our children that you exhaust every possible avenue before joining those on assistance. Many other people have already reached the point of being out of options.

We march forward to teach work ethic to our girls. Lets face it - too many people do NOT have any work ethic- or never had it modeled for them. We can do better than that for our girls.

We march forward to teach that taking care of yourself is a personal responsibility - not a government responsibility. Again, there is a large population of capable people that think the rich owe them assistance and the government must provide for them. We don't.

We march forward to show that anything worth having is worth working for. We don't believe in collecting the money taken from those that work while we don't when we are capable.

And most important - we march forward because we are capable. There are many that are mentally or physically unable. We are not.

So I'm thankful we have the opportunity to keep marching. I'm thankful we have not yet been broken. I'm thankful we are mostly healthy and whole.

So. We are putting our marching boots on. And marching forward.




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The End of October and the Beginning of a New Life

Oh October! My most favorite month! Not only do you bring my birthday, you also bring a whole MONTH of monster movies. I can find them on AMC or SyFy or This or many of the other networks. It just doesn't get better than that. It doesn't.  PLUS The Walking Dead started back up. My one and only show I watch.

To make it even better, hubs went to an invitation only job fair down in good old Houston. After a bunch of interviews and the aftermaths, Hubs accepted an offer from a company based out of Houston. (The job fair had jobs from all over, not just Texas, but we did want to get back there.)

We hung out in limbo for a bit while the ball got rolling, etc. Then Friday night Hubs got the call that he was to start work on November 26th. So we had 25 days to get him to Houston.

25 days to see if the military moving office would get us scheduled asap and see if housing would work with us in that time frame.  I was skeptical. Its the government after all. And there would be extensions and extra paperwork due to our year to move almost being up and our goods having to sit in storage past that date.

Today we got the answers we needed from the moving people...and they will be here to start packing us up on November 6th barring bad weather or something. So the first hurdle is conquered.  I began the withdraw process for Alia's school today. Thankfully Texas is one of the easier states to deal with on the home school front so I'm not worried about our time in limbo.

So now we are working crazy hard to prepare.  The plan is to get out of this house and make it as far as central Texas for a few months. The girls and I will stay with family that has a place for us to pull the travel trailer into and live out of for now. Dion will begin his training and his rotations on the platforms in Houston. On his off times we will start looking not too far from the Houston area for somewhere to finally settle down and buy what I hope is our last home ever. I probably should not have put that in print. LOL! We expect it will be several months before we can determine where that is and before a bank will give us a loan since we have been unemployed for so long.

So. I have 6 days to pull it all together and get the heck out of here. Please snow, hold off. Maybe we will head south before it catches us good. That would just be the icing on top of the cake since I hate snow.

I guess my little blog world will change up a little too while we become official trailer trash for a number of months. It will be interesting to say the least.

Remember us in your prayers still -- this is far from over yet!

Not Much To Say Now-a-days

We actually haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I would if I could.....

So a quick update for friends and family...

Homeschooling:
Torture. Sheer, unadulterated  torture.  After much suffering I finally got the attention that was needed and had Mouse worked with.  Why yes, there is a problem.  So, reading and math have been downgraded a grade. And after the state testing we did get the official letter stating that she is not 3rd grade material.  Wish her old school system that passed her would get that letter (and a fine for passing her too).  Like they would even care. A failing school, is a failing school is a ........

Things have improved with the correct curriculum,  but I don't see her in 4th grade next year. Ohio won't pass her and if we move to another state I still wouldn't try to put her in 4th. She needs the extra time with reading and math. The whole thing is kind of surprising as she is rather smart. We are also looking into a possible disability.

Life in general:
Bank account is almost on E. Looks like we will have made it about a year on our savings. Not bad. With a new President jobs would open back up where Hubs is experienced. Without a new one we could be looking at assistance. But hey, the Dems want that and will have the privileged of paying for it and providing it for us. So life is exactly like it should be, right? That's the bright side of things.

Songbird continues to work and now has a boyfriend. She is also paying for her own drivers ed as we can't help her with it....and she got tired of being without a license. So we should have a driver before much longer. I actually feel kind of lucky that I have dodged that bullet for a year longer than most parents. LOL. See, I can see the bright side of things.

Its getting cold now. Hope all my friends in the storms path stay warm and safe. I didn't buy cold weather clothes or coats for anyone as we had planned on being long gone from here before the cold weather set in.  Guess we are just going to wear things that are too small or just lots of layers. Thank goodness I did not get rid of the scarf/glove/hat box that is in the hall closet. Our ears will stay warm anyways! There is a bright side.

That about covers life. Maybe soon there will be some actual good news to share instead of the bright side of things. LOL!

A Box Full of Maggots

A box full of maggots.

Yes.

That is what you get when your child blatantly disobeys you and brings a pencil box full of acorns in your house and hides them in the closet for two weeks.

Then said child sneaks them back out and pops open the box in the back yard and you hear the most terrified screaming imaginable issue forth.

But that is nothing compared to the screaming that commences when said child is forced to clean up the mess in the yard and check her closet to ensure there are no escapees.

Hah. She wants to move into the bathroom now.

Poetic justice for disobedience. God IS good.

And that was the text I sent several if my friends. One of which I have never texted on her phone. So she checked with me to ensure it was me. At that time she thanked me because HER daughter had just collected a box which was on the shelf next to her bed.

Crisis averted.

But it gets better.

My friend then posted a blurb about it on FB. It was just a summary so it ended up sounding like the maggots were discovered in my house instead of outside.

And one of her friends then mentioned that there must be more in there than just acorns because maggots go for meat.

So now it's sounding even more gross and I'm sounding like a very nasty skank.

But Heather redeemed me by googling it and informing us all that they weren't maggots after all. They are acorn weevils.

I feel so much better now.


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Glass Half Empty

The title is a warning. Don't read this.

We all have our magic numbers that make us comfortable or uncomfortable in our bank accounts.  As responsible adults and citizens we did not run up massive debts and we watched our numbers.

We denied ourselves when everyone around us drove two new cars and had nice homes.  Our kids had a quarter of the toys and activities of the other kids. Our clothes lasted years instead of seasons.

And we looked to the future and how to take care of ourselves when we were no longer young enough to work.

Then there was no job.

And the last 10 months we've been conservative. Not scary conservative....more like a confident conservative.

We should have been scared.

So now here it is September and the bank has hit the half empty number.  The number I am not comfortable with. The number that makes me grouchy.  The number that makes me downright hate life. The number that makes me want to stay in bed all day every day.

Of course we just got the notice in the mail telling us how much our free insurance is going up. I won't be able to pay it. So we will be bumped down to the other free insurance. The one you pay a percentage of the allowable but no yearly. Except none of the good doctors here will take that insurance. And is getting $8 back on a $120 bill worth the 6 months it will take me to get it paid by filing myself? I will spend that in postage and phone calls. So, this family with free insurance will not see any doctors unless its in an ER and we feel its life and death. Because we can't pay. But hey, we won't be taxed since technically we will have insurance.....whether we can afford to use it or not. At least we will dodge that lovely healthcare tax. And I feel for those that won't.

We are looking again for ways to cut expenses. We do have some fluff we can work with. Not much but some. How I wish we had never bought a new car two years ago. That is literally enough money to cover groceries and a portion of gas needs for the car. Plus insurance would be cheaper. We need to cut the housing cost. We need to do it by Christmas. How I hate the thought of moving into an unsafe area but its got to be done.

Because I've got to tell you, pissing away our retirement money is painful. It was painful to save and now its painful to spend. On groceries and gas and the necessities.  Totally sucks.

I think I'm done spewing for now. If you were crazy enough to actually read this (I did warn you) you will know better next time. LOL!  

After Labor Day Camping

We aren't big fans of crowds.  Especially when camping. 

We love a quiet campground. Where small amounts of people walk around being friendly because everyone has plenty of space.  Where there are three empty spots for every filled one. Where there are more live-ins than "couple of days" campers. 

I love homeschooling at the campgrounds. Space dictates you go outside alot. The pace is more laid back because there is not a schedule to keep up with and a list of household chores. After all, the reason you are camping is to get away from that. 

The beach is empty. There is no line for the shower. The hot water doesn't run out. The floor doesn't flood. The bathrooms do not run out of paper. 

There is no drunk feast going on in the site next to you every night. Or loud music late into the night. 

The dogs don't have near as much to bark at. 

No rude/unparented kids running through our site at all hours of the day and night. No wolf whistles at the girls.

Mouse got to ride her bike all over as there were so few cars pulling through.

We took advantage of the days after Labor Day to camp this week. And it's glorious. Loving every minute of it. Well except for the zit that popped up on my chin. That hurts. And has nothing to do with anything. Just checking to see if you are still awake.

It's been great!

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Sent from my iPad

I Survived Hell Week

1.	Hell Week
	Usually found around midterms & finals. It’s a widely understood fact that prior to Hell Week, professors meet & discuss ways to purposefully create schedules with 3 midterms on the same day you’ve 2 papers & a group project due, all in addition to your normal homework load & extra-curricular activities. 2. Hell Week The inagural week of all Greek organizations (fraternities) in which the new members (pledges) are rigorously abused and tortured as an endurance test. If the pledges make it through Hell Week, then they can become full-fledged fraternity members.  3. Hell Week The week of a theatrical performance during which the cast and crew practically live at school and communicate to thier families soley through notes. 4. hell week The week before final examinations in college, thus named because it is the week that -everything- is due. (ie papers, presentations, things of that nature) and yet you must still find time to do other assignments and study for your exams. 5. Hell Week Commonly used to describe a situation in which a person spends a long period of time forgoing sleep and sometimes other necessities to prepare for something. Hell Week gets its origins from the Fifth week of the First Phase of BUD/S (for those of you who don't know what it is, it is the training course that Navy SEALs go through) where for five days, they are subjected to living hell where with no sleep, they are required to perform strenuous physical activity in combat conditions at Olympic standards. Ok. So it was none of these. But I'm not so sure this shouldn't be added to the Urban Dictionary along with the other definitions. Because. Oh. My. Words. I've explained that we felt Mouse was really falling behind in school. I worked with the teacher last year to try and pin point what the problems where but even she was stumped. The kids will bomb testing but if you sit by her and ask her to do something she just does it.  Although trying to teach new concepts to her was a challenge also. And when you are ready to beat your head bloody against the wall....she picks up the pencil and just does it. Wha?!?!? Anyways, we survived our first week of school at home.  There were tears (mine!!). There was crying (because she thought home school meant no more school?!?!). There were blank stares. There were lessons that took 3 hours instead of the 1 expected. There were lots of breaks. Sadly there were a few instances of yelling and having to get a grip. There were a million emails and three phone calls/conferences with the teacher (in 5 days). There were decisions to try and make based on a snapshot of time (drop back to 2nd grade work or press on). There were classes taught by dad to verify whether it was material or the teacher that was the problem. (It wasn't the teacher.) There was the realization that it was much worse than we originally thought. And after many conferences there was the realization that this IS the right thing for right now. I'd be lying if I said it was fun right now. It has the potential to be fun when she realizes that whether its school at home or in a building with other kids, ITS STILL SCHOOL. It requires learning. It requires work. And I think we will get there slowly. I'm working harder than I had to work with the other two put together. But I do like this curriculum and having the lessons planned for you...and only needing to read and prep yourself is a true Godsend. We also are in a learning curve with getting used to switching back and forth from computer to books to virtual classrooms. Its starting to get easier just after the first week. Of course we are throwing a wrench in the works this week. We did not take Labor Day off. Instead we switched the off day to Friday as we decided to get in a last summer camping trip Tuesday through Thursday. We wanted to miss the Labor Day crowds. So we spent today hammering out all the online class materials and the stuff we were behind on. The rest of the weeks work we take with us is rather easy and portable. And Friday is the day off that we can use to catch up if we fall behind. Although we do have our school picnic that day that will take up a couple of hours with kids in the same program. I'm not sure I'll have much to blog about the next couple of months. Unless, of course, the economy miraculously improves and Hubs finds a job.  Right. Like that's going to happen. See? You don't want to hear that kind of crap anyways.  Keep us in your prayers! We need every one we can get!

Pinterest Project #10

Source: 032ad8a.netsolhost.com via Autumn on Pinterest

This is kind of funny as my friend Sandra over at Diary of a Stay At Home Mom just posted on it also. We tend to be on the same page alot and this is not the first time I was ready to make and post on something and she gets it done a day or two before me. One thing that comes to mind is the dish drying towels. Or the beef jerky. Obviously great minds think alike.

Last week she did the post In Preparation For Winter Time. She also has made some of the tea throat soother or cough syrup. She links to a different recipe/blog post than I have but its the same.

My pinterest project was linked to Medicinal Sweets or I Wish I Had a Sore Throat at Mad Made Me.

Unfortunately I am coming down with my first cold of the school year. I had hoped to miss the first week bug with Mouse being homeschooled...but no such luck.

So my fridge is sporting its own jar of the honey that shall grace my tea over the coming months.  Of course my Mamaw's little addition of bourbon will be waiting in the wings to add a little extra punch when needed before bedtime. What can I say, my Kentucky roots are showing.

One thing I will add that others don't always put in their recipe is RAW honey is a better choice. It has more medical properties than the heated/processed honey.

And never forget that you never give infants honey. Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.

So how about you? Tried anything from pinterest lately?

CrockPot Butter Chicken

I was asked by several people for this recipe so I am finally sitting down to type it out.  The original recipe "Slow Cooker Butter Chicken" I found on allrecipes.com. I have tweaked it some so I renamed it.

We love Indian food. Dion took me out for our anniversary a couple of years ago to an Indian place and I tried Butter Chicken for the first time. It was so good that I had to try and find the recipe.  Unfortunately the authentic recipes call for cooking it in a certain clay pot and had things I couldn't find.  So I tried to find an Americanized version that at least came close to it. 

This is NOT as good as the authentic but it is as close as I've come so far, and the whole family loves it. Its also less fattening that the original...which is always a good thing, right??

CrockPot Butter Chicken

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons coconut oil

4 large, skinless, boneless chicken breasts, cut into     

   bite-size pieces

1 large onion, diced

3 cloves of garlic, minced

2 teaspoons curry powder

1 tablespoon curry paste (I buy this in a tub at the Asian   

   grocery)

2 teaspoons tandoori masala (an Indian spice mix)

1 teaspoon garam masala (an Indian spice mix)

2 (6 oz) tomato paste

7 black cardamom pods ( or 15 green which is what the 

   original recipe had, but I didn't want  to go buy green 

   when I had black)

1 (14 oz) coconut milk

1 cup Kefir cheese (or yogurt)

Salt to taste

Melt the butter and oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Stir in chicken onion and garlic. Cook and stir until onion is clear, about 10 minutes.  Stir in curry powder and curry paste, tandoori masala and garam masala and tomato paste, until no lumps of paste remain. 

Pour into slow cooker and stir in cardamom pods, coconut milk, yogurt/cheese and salt to taste. Cook on high 4-6 hours or low 6-8 hours.

Discard cardamom seeds before serving.

You can tie up the cardamom in a piece of cheesecloth for easy disposal after cooking. I just throw them in and warn everyone to watch for them on their plate and keep count when found. Its like a cracker jack surprise! LOL! They are large and easily identifiable. 

We eat it over rice and have a side of naan bread and hummus or Tadzhik. 

Hope you enjoy this as much as my family does. 

Here I Go Again

It appears that one thing all three of my children now have in common would be homeschool.

Yes, after 3 years of tears and crying and begging to be homeschooled we finally decided to give Mouse what she wants.

Hah. She has no idea what she is in for. LOL. Songbird will tell you that homeschool is the only time she EVER went through an entire text book.

All three of my children have ended up at home for different reasons. I am far from anti-public school. I'm all about WHAT WORKS for THIS child.  And lets face it, that's not always a traditional classroom. For my son it was a terrible fit. For my second child public school is the perfect fit. She did come home for a year because she thought it looked like her brother was having too much fun.  She couldn't take it. I put her back in public the next year. (I have non-negotiable one year commitment rule- no school hopping.)

Mouse has always wanted to be homeschooled. That was actually part of the reason we didn't. She was a Velcro child and wouldn't even speak to other adults for a long time.  She needed a degree of separation.

I also wanted her in a system that is used to identifying problems and disabilities. She has adoption related issues and we did not know if any of that would carry over to learning disabilities and such.

Unfortunately we moved into a failing district. They've been a failed school since before we got here...and they still are going on 4 years later. And darned if it isn't in the same subjects that my daughter is failing in.

After working with the teacher last year we pinpointed many of the problems. And many of them require a little bit more from a teacher but not outside intervention, if that makes sense. But there is no time for the extra in the classroom. So she is one that will fall between the cracks. Its the nature of the public school beast. At least this one. In another district this might or might not be the case.

So we have a kid who is barely keeping her head above water and destined to start failing by the end of fourth grade.  Add a school system that can't help. And we have jobless parents with no money to send to a private school. Add to that the extremely unstable day to day operations as daddy tries to find a new career.

Ugh.

With all this homeschooling looks good. It gives the individual attention she must have to get on track with reading and math and be able to succeed in school.  It gives the flexibility to travel with daddy to interview cities or for house hunting or whatever may come. And if we hit the point where we run out of savings before that job is found...then it makes moving into the travel trailer oh so much easier as transportation will not be an issue depending on where we end up parking. Lastly, it makes the transition to our new location that much easier when we do move.

Lots of reasons to do this.

Except the funds.

But.

What they have now that they didn't have when the older two were homeschooled is Public School at Home. They send all the materials at no cost. Including a computer if you need one (we didn't).  Its still the same number of hours. Its their lessons. She still is assigned a teacher for us to meet with and work with when we need help.

And she is beside herself happy.  It was like Christmas when the boxes came.  She is on cloud nine. Its been fun (and a little scary honestly) to watch.

Right now we are still working on some assessments so they can figure out how to start her out and what they can do to work with her issues.

But Monday starts a whole new chapter for her.  She is counting the days.

THE CHILD THAT WOULD CRY EVERY NIGHT NOT TO GO TO SCHOOL IS COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS.

I almost feel like a heel for ever having sent her to public school. Almost.

This year will tell on many levels whether this was good or not. And I am not above changing things if it doesn't work.....

I actually look forward to revisiting the decision come next August. I am very curious to see how this child ticks.

But tonight.....all I can do is sing over and over in my head....




Because Here I Go Again ......

Pinterest Project #9

In an effort to organize all of Mouses school books and make them easy for her to find I did a search on Pinterest for organizational ideals.

Someone had posted magazine holders they had covered in colorful paper to coordinate. With this is mind I made a stop at Ikea on my last trip. They did have some rather cheap paper files but I was concerned about their ability to stand up to an 8 year old. So, for $2 more I bought the metal holders instead.

I knew I wanted to label each one so I picked up a couple of packets of magnets to stick to the front.  My label maker was then used to label each magnet so Mouse can easily identify what she is looking for.

For my books I didn't bother labeling.

This wasn't the bookcase I wanted to use but it is the only one (also purchased at Ikea) with tall enough shelves to handle the holders.

It worked out very well and isn't an eyesore in the living room, which the paper holders would have been.

Thanks again Pinterest!
T

Guess What? She's Black.

I tried to leave this alone.  I really, really, really tried.

But it just burned inside my heart and my head.

You see, some people were really upset and took offense to the fact that the press said this amazing young woman was the first African-American to win gold in this event for America.

And I was stumped.

Their point was that she is AMERICAN and to point out her race was to be divisive. And our country needed to stop being divisive about race.

And my point was that ignoring the most visible part of who a person is (their appearance to the world - the skin) was to "whitewash" them which implies there is something wrong with being anything other than "white" or colorless.

But we aren't colors they said. We are AMERICANS.

Umm....even the youngest child can tell you that we ARE most certainly a color. (Which goes even deeper as each color has a heritage to share also.)

And that's where I personally think the problem lies in this country.

Not in the fact that we all need to be "the same".

WE DON"T.

We all need to be respected and loved for the fact that we are exactly who we are.

To pretend we aren't something is to imply that there is something WRONG with being different from you.

My daughter is Chinese.  And the most insulting thing a family member ever said was that they don't see her as Chinese...she's just part of the family.

Excuse me???

She IS Chinese and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

If you have to "whitewash" her and strip her of the most visible part of who she is, that is not being inclusive or showing value and accepting her as part of the family.

Its just the opposite.  Its saying that being brown is something to ignore.  It's saying that being Chinese is shameful. Its saying that being a different color than you is not okay.  It's saying you can't see her as she is. Its saying you want everyone to be the same.

And we aren't.

We are different.

And its GOOD.

Not something to hide or ignore or pretend isn't there.

And until white America gets a grip on that, the decisiveness is here to stay.

Because, white America, you aren't the one that has to be something other than what you already are.

Everyone else does.

Gabby is an amazing, black, American Olympian.

And I see her color.  

And it is glorious.

Because a Girl Can Dream....

The political climate right now is insane.

Its devastatingly sad.

Because I remember a time when different beliefs were an American icon. They were something to celebrate. They were a reason to consider America great.

Now its the nastiest hate fest imaginable.

You can't go on fb without reading how you are the most vile of persons from your own circle of friends if you have a different view.  The ugly names are flat out shocking. You wonder if they really feel that way about you.  And it makes you a little sick...because we are all so much more than this issue or that one.  Do my friends really think that of me because we disagree on that one subject? 

And I've become convicted on this subject in my own life and regret any of this behavior I may have participated in. I bitterly regret it. Its wrong.

How did this happen?

And I'm sure you have seen both sides post how if it wasn't for this group we wouldn't have this...and vise versa.

YES!!! But not in the way its meant. 

The truth is all parties and sides have given us great programs and laws and privileges. No one school of thought has a corner on that market.  Its the combination of all groups contributing that makes this the most amazing country.  Or did.

And even though I didn't vote for our current president, I did hold the hope in my heart that he was what he said.......change and transparency.

A girl can dream. And I did. I hid my crossed fingers behind my back in the circles that didn't vote for him and hoped and prayed that it was all true. And I was disappointed. Its all more of the same old thing that we need to get rid of, to me.  But that's MY opinion and I don't go shouting it at people that feel differently. (should I add anymore there?)

And I'm so so tired of character assassination. From all sides. From anyone.  

I want to hear about the issues.....not the mud slinging. 

I personally have believed things and changed my mind. I have done bad things and had to atone for them. I have made uneducated decisions and been educated. Its all a part of living and growing up in this life.  I have never been nor do I strive to be perfect - because its not even possible. And I don't expect perfection from anyone else either. Not even our political candidates. They can all make mistakes and they can all change their minds on issues.  As long as they are sincere in that I will not ridicule them for it. I will not start a smear fest. I will not murder their good name.

What I'd really like to know is what will it take for regular American's to step off of this hate fest? What will it take? Someone else going first? Well, I'll go first. I'm stepping off this bad behavior. I will listen to other views that are stated in respectful ways. I might not ever agree, but I will agree to disagree with style and grace. Because THAT is American. 

Of course that will probably just make me an even bigger target, but I'm ok with that. I've never fit into any box neatly anyways. I'm always the odd man out in any gathering of people.  And even that is ok.

And I'll hope and dream a little more this year. Not about a candidate...but about the people relearning to treat each other with respect even when they disagree. 

Because a girl can dream.